An avid gardener saw a small butterfly laying a few eggs in one of the lavender pots in his garden on a cool harmattan day.
Soon after, another butterfly flew to the flower, and groomed itself near the eggs. After laying the eggs, the butterflies flew away.
Since that day, the gardener continued to look at the eggs with curiosity and eagerness. Each day, he noticed that each of the eggs were disappearing, till it remained only one egg.
He kept watch everyday over that single egg on the lavender plant, and it was only a matter of time before the egg started to mature, move and shake a little.
He was excited to see new life sprout before his eyes and he got a stool to sit down to watch the egg.
The egg started to expand and develop cracks. A tiny head and antennae started to come out, ever so slowly. He stood up, ran towards his shed and brought out a large magnifying glass to watch the life and body of a pupa coming out.
The gardners excitement knew no bounds. He saw the struggle of the tender pupa and he couldn't resist the urge to "HELP".
He rushed back to his shed and got a set of tiny, tender forceps to help the egg break, a nip here, a nip there, to help the struggling chrysalis, and before you know it, the chrysalis was out. The man was ecstatic!
He now waited each day for the pupa (or chrysalis) to grow and fly like a beautiful butterfly, but alas, that never happened.
The chrysalis had its body developed completely, but it couldn't fly. It kept crawling around in circles around the lavender pot for four weeks and then it died!
Depressed, he went to his friend, who was a biologist, to ask about the reason the butterfly never took flight.
His friend told him the struggle to break out of the egg helps the larvae to send blood to its wings and it would assist the larvae to develop a stronger abdomen and antennae. The gardener felt even more dejected realizing what could have been if he had just observed.
In his eagerness to help, he destroyed a beautiful life!
Struggles help all of us, that's why a bit of effort goes a long way to develop our strength to face life's difficulties. Challenges are what mold us to become true human beings; though it may not seem that way in the beginning of the challenge. However, if you just put a little effort, no matter how small, if you just keep on trying, you will marvel at the results in the near future.
Many children of the generation Z have been so pampered, that to some of them, struggles are non-existent. Also, many parents from the previous generations, X, Y, have incorporated the belief of: "I don't want my children to suffer at all".
This is actually a good & noble thing, but many go too far trying to help & protect their kids from life's harsh realities and disappointments.
We don't want our kids to struggle like we did; not even a little. A Harvard Professor, Dr. Dan Kindlon once said that overprotected children and over pampered children are more likely to struggle in relationships & with challenges. We're sending our kids the message that they are not capable of helping themselves at certain times.
Fortunately, there is a solution. If you recall at the beginning of this article, notice that the parents of the butterfly flew away. Well, to our human parents, don't leave your children in the hands of house maids & butlers all the time. Create time for your children, and be highly observant. Butterflies are known for their erratic flight, so it is normal for them to stumble a bit before they fly. Parents, observe your children, let them learn a bit. It is all part of the process of building them.
It is our job to always prepare our children for the road, and not to always prepare the road for the children. This is one of the keys to successful parenting.
Be Observant.
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